Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
