Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize