You made me cry and you don't even care
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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