So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
