I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
