I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
