i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Fuck appropriateness.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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