I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
