:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
