Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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