It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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