You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
