Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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