Pappa wants mamma naked
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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