i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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