I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
