I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
