The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
