Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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