She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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