Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
