This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
