3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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