His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize