Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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