you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize