I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
