it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
