She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
