I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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