So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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