I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
