yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
