All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize