Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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