he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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