I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
