Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Randomize
