we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
