Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
