I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's official drugs can't kill me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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