Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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