I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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