Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
