turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
