theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
