You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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