enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
