sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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