My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
