Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
