Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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