dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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