I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
