Dual....:-)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She bit a glass in half.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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