We won't sleep together?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize