It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
