The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
