Porn is love you can see.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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