Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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