I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
from now on my penis is your penis
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
