Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
