can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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