The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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