His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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