1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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