marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
