Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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