Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
