I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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